Leave your dirty shoes at the door

All shoes are dirty. There are some people who will ask (insist) that you take off your shoes before entering their home. There are many cultures where that is the norm. Countries like Japan, Finland, Sweden, and the Ukraine are just a few where it is expected. On the other hand, there are countries where it is not customary, but may be the culture of that particular home. USA. The main reason to make this a habit is hygiene and cleanliness. Your shoes carry infectious bacteria, germs, filth, chemicals, and dirt. You significantly reduce the possibility of spreading these things at home if you leave your shoes at the door.

Some people are uncomfortable with the idea of taking off their shoes. This could be for a myriad of reasons: ugly toenails, bunions, corns, etc. Or, they think it is a stupid practice and don’t see the point of complying. When you are visiting someone’s home, you are subject to the rules of that household. This is true even when you disagree. You must act in accordance to their wishes.

If you choose to disregard this rule, your host has every right to refuse you entry into their home. They can turn you away, which is the right thing to do. Your refusal to take off your shoes is unsanitary. But your behavior is obnoxious when you display your sense of entitlement. Your wishes will never supersede the rules. Your host can make an exception, but it is entirely at their discretion. Refusing to take off your shoes is also disrespectful. You are taking the stance that you do not care about the host’s practice, feelings, and opinions. It is a matter of common courtesy to be considerate and just take your shoes off. It can be a very awkward situation if your host asks you to leave. You should be embarrassed.

If you are invited to someone’s home, it is not normal to ask ahead if you can wear shoes indoors. It is also not typical for invitations to specifically state that shoes are not permitted inside. In rare cases, a host may include a note to that effect in the invitation.

What are you to do when invited to someone’s home? Assume you will be asked to take off your shoes. Make that assumption 100% of the time. If you suspect that your host is the type to be a stickler for a clean floor, or has carpets, go with your gut and prepare to take your shoes off. If your feet are hideous, bring along a pair of socks. Otherwise make sure that you are keeping your routine pedicure appointments.

Dating app messages to ignore

You are not obligated to respond to all messages. Women get bombarded with messages while online dating. Many of the messages are from guys who play a numbers game and send messages to everyone. They basically copy and paste the same couple of lines to see who will take the bait. You can tell it is a copy and paste when the message is basically, “I like your profile/pics, and would like to get to know you”. A personalized message usually makes reference to a detail in your profile or your interests. His message will make it obvious that he read your profile.

“Hi” and “Hello” are not messages. If he cannot spare the time to write two sentences to introduce himself, then he is not worth your time. A man who is genuinely interested will initiate an actual conversation. He may tell you a little about himself, plus ask you a question or two about yourself. You need to put out the same energy you are receiving. Do not respond to one word messages with a paragraph. Better yet, don’t respond to one word responses at all.  If you receive a message that makes it obvious that he read your profile, and he asks questions, do the polite thing and respond with the same energy.

Block matches that only objectify you in the first message. Guys who have nothing else to say except how beautiful you are in the first message are looking for a hookup, no strings attached, non monogamous arrangement. Yes, you are beautiful. You have a mirror. We know that you bring more to the table in addition to your good looks. The bad news is that beauty fades. Therefore, his interest in you needs to be deeper.

If he is not asking questions, he is not interested in getting to know you. If the only conversation he can have is about himself, sports, other women, and more about himself, then he needs a friend or a therapist. He is not trying to find something special in you.

Let him ask to meet in real life. The point of creating a dating profile, uploading pictures, paying for a subscription, and searching for matches is so that you can actually meet someone to date. Hopefully, dating leads to a relationship. Making the leap to offline communication is a huge step. Messaging can only let you know a little about a person. You need to read body language, facial expressions, and make eye contact to really make a connection. Apparently you are interested in him if you are still messaging. You may be anxious to meet him, but let him make that move. It is not ladylike to be the aggressor. Give him a chance to man up and ask for that first date.

Do not bring a gift

Have you ever been invited to a party and the host asks that you do not bring a gift? It may be a birthday party, anniversary, or some other occasion where gifts are expected and normally given. But for whatever reason the host prefers to not receive any gifts from you. Do you bring a gift anyway, because you think it is the right thing to do?

You may feel the need to give a gift because you believe it is appropriate for the occasion. You do not want to come across as rude or cheap. Plus, what if other guests brought a gift and you did not. You may even feel weird just showing up empty handed. You may also assume that the host is just being polite and really did not mean it when they said, no gifts. You would be wrong.

If the host specifically goes out of their way to say no gifts, you should oblige. It is rude to disregard the wishes of your host. It can be perceived as disrespectful for you to take your own feelings into consideration and not care about your host. It is inconsiderate to ignore your host’s feelings.

Your host may simply want the pleasure of your company. Your presence alone is a gift. At a certain point in our lives, most of us don’t need more stuff. Accumulating more stuff just adds clutter. Your host may not have room or space in their home. The strong possibility exists that your well-intentioned gift will end up in storage or at the next garage sale. Another factor to consider is that your gift is something the host does not like, want, or appreciate. You have now put them in the awkward position of faking gratitude.

The next time you are invited to an event, and the host states that gifts are not necessary, believe them. The very least you can do is to send a note after the event to express thanks for the invitation. There was a time that a handwritten note was considered the most polite, but today, an email or text will do.