Etiquette for visiting someone's home

1. Take your shoes off

   I wrote a blog about this earlier, but this cannot be over emphasized. Do not leave a trail of dirt and germs in your host’s home. You should be prepared to take your shoes off at the door. You can choose to wear socks or stockings, or make sure that your pedicure game is always on point.

2. Limit your screen time

   Do not spend too much time on your smartphone. It is disrespectful to your host. Unless you are looking up something to share with your host, you really should not be on your screen at all. When you are on your screen, you are not engaging with your host. You might as well be furniture if you are in someone’s home and ignoring them and other guests. It also makes you look like you really do not want to be there.

3. Don’t give yourself a tour of the home

   Give your host a chance to show off their own home, if they want to. A good host will let you know where the bathroom is pretty much as soon as you enter the house. Some people entertain in the kitchen, but others will receive guests in the living room. If you need to use the restroom, make a straight line to that room. Do not wander into bedrooms, offices, dens, recreation rooms, etc. That is an invasion of privacy. It is rude, but should be considered criminal.

4. Don’t open the refrigerator

   Unless your host specifically asked you to get something from the refrigerator, you must stay out of it. Some people are very particular about who is allowed to open that door. The refrigerator is a family appliance. In the same vein you would not open the washer/dryer, or oven.

5. Bring a gift for the host

   It is a kind gesture to show appreciation for the invitation. You made the guest list. Congratulations! The host has done a lot to prepare for the evening. They prepared the food, cleaned their home, arranged seating, and will be responsible for the clean up when you are gone. It takes effort. Typically a bottle of wine, or their favorite drink, or a small bouquet, or dessert (confirm beforehand that the host is not preparing dessert) will be sufficient. If it is a very casual dinner, you can bring a game where all, if not most of you can play together.

6. Don’t ask for food

   Do not embarrass your host by asking for food that is not on the menu. If you don’t see fish on the table or being served, don’t ask for it. Your host will feel like maybe they did not prepare enough of the right dishes. It will appear that you are less than satisfied and happy with what your host provided. If you have special dietary concerns, let your host know beforehand, or bring your very own special dish that can be served at the same time as everyone else.

7. Don’t wear outerwear indoors

   As soon as you are inside, take off your jacket or coat. Keeping on your coat will make it look like you are not settled in. You will give the appearance that you are ready to go at any minute. Show your host that you are comfortable in their home. Even if the temperature is chilly in the home, it is bad form to stand around in a coat.

8. Do not open the medicine cabinet

   Nothing in the medicine cabinet is your business. It is not your concern if your host is medicated, treating a fungus, have a sensitive stomach, or stocked up on adhesive bandages. In this case ignorance may be bliss.

9. Don’t leave immediately after dinner

   Dinner is the main event, but it does not mean that you are going to dine and dash. This gives the impression that you are just there for the food. The reality is that you are there to socialize and network. Your purpose is to get to know your host and other guests better. Dining is only a catalyst. From the beginning of time, people have bonded over food. We all need to eat, and food is a good excuse for you to get together. It may signal to your host and other guests that you don’t particularly enjoy their company and need to get out of their as soon as possible. That’s inconsiderate and rude.