Finding a relationship in 2022 can be a challenge in the city. There seems to be so many single people on the market, but they are not getting together to form long term relationships. That is for a number of reasons.
Not all single people actually want a long term relationship. Some people are very happy with moving from one hookup to the next. The idea of a commitment is a turn off to them. They also may have FOMO. They are worried that they may commit to someone and someone else better comes along. Or they have low esteem and are insecure that they have nothing good to offer a potential partner in the long run. Some people with serious issues are actually concerned that they don’t deserve love. Then there are those people who think so much of themselves that they do not want to give themselves to just one person. They feel the need to spread the “love” to as many people as possible.
But, we are here to talk about emotionally stable people looking for a long term partner. Should you join a dating app? Yes. The likelihood that the love of your life will come knocking on your door and introduce himself is non existent. It is just not happening. You need to take control of your own destiny and go in search of a partner. I would not advise you to hand out business cards, or wear a t-shirt shouting that you are single. After all, you are single, not desperate.
But a dating app is a marketplace, yes a marketplace, where you can advertise that you are single. You can promote your interest in finding someone who shares your values and with whom you may have things in common. Be honest about your hobbies and habits. Do not state you are a morning person who hikes to mountain tops on a Saturday morning to watch the sun rise. Be honest and let them know that one of your favorite things is to sleep in on a Sunday morning, make coffee at 9am, and lounge around in your bathrobe until noon.
Dating apps are also a meat market. Everyone is putting up their best pictures. You can quickly determine physical attraction in a nano-second and swipe an unappealing person out of your life for good, or swipe right whenever you see eye candy. The physical is the sort of superficial part, but it is the start. In the history of mankind, there has never been a dating app match that was not based on physical attraction first. Your are not superficial, you are human.
Here is how you will not meet a potential partner. They will not randomly walk up to you in the street and introduce themselves. They will probably not buy you a no strings attached drink at the bar. Men have an even greater fear of rejection than women do. They truly have very fragile egos. Worst yet, your hot coworker will not ask you out in fear of loosing his job in this era of the ‘me-too’ movement. But office romances are a massive no-no under all circumstances. If you feel attracted to a colleague, go for a walk, go to the gym, hop on the dating app so review alternatives, or spend some time with friends who will hopefully set your head straight. Go to church to deepen your relationship with God and not hunt for a man. If it is meant to be the Lord will guide him to you when you least expect it.
There is no longer a stigma attached to being on a dating app. Most of us want a life partner, partner in crime, ride or die, forever lover, best friend, or emergency contact. In this day and age a dating app is convenient, has many options, allows you to weed out the undesirables (there will be many), and eventually meet the man that’s right for you. I personally know married couples who met online. Their lifestyles would not have caused them to cross paths, so thank goodness for a dating app.
